Friday, February 22, 2008

More civilized, but still not advised.

I have already expressed my horror when Marlo introduced me to the television show, “Cheaters.” On that show, private detectives follow around suspected cheaters with hidden cameras and catch them in the act. Then, the injured spouse has the opportunity to confront the confirmed cheater – all while the cameras roll.

Now, Reuters reports a new trend in Britain for catching suspected cheaters called, “Honey Trapping.” “For those who doubt a spouse's adherence to his or her marriage vows, an attractive private detective can be hired to test the loved one's loyalty by flirting with the suspect in public settings.” (ABA Journal) The private detective also secretly records and videotapes the encounter for the injured spouse to view.

On the one hand, I find the “Honey Trapping” practice to be more civilized than “Cheaters,” only because it is not broadcast on television for the world to see. However, I still maintain the same advice as before. You do not need confirmation that your spouse is cheating to end your relationship. If you are to the point that you are hiring a private detective, your relationship has clearly already broken down independent of any alleged cheating. Perhaps spend the money on counseling instead.

If you refrain from either of these practices, at least you can walk away from the relationship with some semblance of dignity and being proud of how you handled it. If you engage in these underhanded tactics, you are not any better than your [potentially] cheating spouse. In a relationship, lying is a binary state. Either you are lying or you are not. So don’t.

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