Two memorial services

I posted last week that Jeanette Cissell passed away on October 3, 2007. Her memorial is going to be held on Monday, October 15, 2007 in Des Moines, WA. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/paris2008

While I was in Europe, a law student in my class passed away unexpectedly from an undetected brain hemorage. Ben Athay and his wife had just had their first child, a son named Oliver, during our 1L year. The law school is holding a memorial on Friday, October 12, 2007. http://www.law.washington.edu/News/Articles/Default.aspx?YR=2007&ID=AthayMemorial

I'll be going to the memorials, but am dreading it. I know it sounds terrible, but I hate going. I remember going to Aunt Hazel's funeral when I was about 10 years old and being scared to death because her body was there. Then, two years after high school I went to the funeral of a girl from my graduating class who had committed suicide. It was awful. We were sitting directly behind her sobbing parents and in front of her grandparents. Plus, her two year old daughter didn't understand what was happening and was running around the coffin on the alter. Even the priest couldn't stop crying. The last funeral I went to was for Uncle Jim. The family opened it up for people to share, but no one was willing, so I spoke. I couldn't stop crying throughout my share.

I know they say that these things are for the people left behind to begin grieving and to get closure. I'd prefer it if everyone who loves me is complete with me before I die so that they can just skip the whole ordeal. Personally, unless Marlo, my family, and/or my friends specifically say they want a memorial, donate the money that would be spent on my memorial to a good charity** in my name and call it a day. As much that I am into propriety, etc., I'd rather not put my friends through a memorial just for form's sake.



**Because my family and I will differ on what is deemed a "good charity," I'm designating my friend Karol in charge of selecting the charity. She and I think alike about politics and society so if she thinks it is good, so will I.